My loneliness now 

My loneliness is nearly the same. I feel empty. I feel weary. I feel like I’m going to cry. I go to class I say hi. I try to be a light. I try to help my classmates. I try to be a good big brother. I try to grow up. I’ve spent my life trying. I succeed a lot. In fact I succeed most of the time if I try my best, but I don’t when it’s loneliness.

 My wounds of self hate don’t heal. My self inflicted scars have not faded. I am still broken. I am still sad. And I am still lonely, but I know that I’m not alone.

God is here. God is by my side. My experience, This sadness, is not reality. It is not eternal, but God is. Although my daily life may hurt, although I feel like I haven’t a friend, although I do not feel loved. I will NOT let my emotions or feelings guide me. I have hated me. And I have lost the right to guide myself. God is the only one who can guide me. Only he can steer this thus vessel that is both half full and half empty 

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3 thoughts on “My loneliness now 

  1. God is there Amen.
    Writing about your pain is part of your healing . Dont give up…

    Everything happens for a reason. Even though this pain can seem to break you … you actually gathering up a testimony and its meant to strengthen you for the best .

    Like

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