Bound by my own Desires

A box, full of potential; full of thoughts
Coarse and worn, like old sidewalks
My head upon my soul’s treetops

The woods are small, but ready to strike.
A match, a blaze, such a beautiful sight.
Awareness of the energy, free and light.

It appears to guide me and protect me from fear
Giving strength to my emotions whenever I am near
Steering and Rearing my elusive mind to cheer

but with it, I’m on a road leads to death
With heavy cares and worries about being the best
The weight of the world– my unbound soul’s behest

I need peace from my heart’s grandiose desire
To save, to love, to be a rectifier
To spread my soul to others like a wildfire…

but

My soul is tired of moving so slow
it seems I’ve come across a place I can’t grow
to move with those I love and take the path that I know
seems to be the thing holding me back from growth

My passions have become bound to the workings of my mind
I mixed myself up too much with the passing of time
My ‘musts” and “shoulds” have put me in a bind

Giving away my soul means that nothing is mine

An Open Drain

Sometimes it feels like my heart is infinity. I can feel the energy pass through me; like a hot piece of tungsten, suspended in a vacuum. As elusive as an idea and as grand as the sun itself. After a time, this light grows dim.

Many times, I feel my heart gaping. barely available, barely alive. My light, extinguished. The dwindling match is too tiny to light up the forest of my mind. My sun has imploded; the pressure is too much. What was once my light has become my darkness.

When the black hole starts consuming, my being is torn asunder. What once contained my sadness and negativity is now fodder for the lowest pitch of darkness inside of me. Every crack and crevasse of my universe can feel the force of bellow. Every fiber of my soul is stretched and my respite is out of reach.

Where is my refuge?

Grand Design

Save me from this suffering. Let blood fill my stomach to be purified from this curse.

My tongue, ripped out
All reason, lost

To have my mind torn asunder and my words loosen freely, to and from the wind… like osmosis.

Waves brushing to shore; never staying and always leaving.
Never departing, but always coming to a close. like breathing

Static in its dance
Always moving within itself

Never Stagnant in its System– Full of Change

I do believe that it is in this truth of reality that we find hope

That is to say it is in this truth of reality that we find meaning. Within Meaning we find Being. In Being we find Consideration. With Consideration we gain Perspective. Using Perspective give us Awareness. It gives us consciousness.

That is Life

Pain-full Hearts Ajar

Ajar hearts

“opening” doors to the world. Witnessing wonders with worry. constantly hurrying– scurrying to the next moment.

A spaceship aloof- windows open like. Hissing out the little air left in our lungs. Gasping and spiting to the people in front of us, begging for the Heimlich. Begging for safety from the vaccine.

The emptiness inside

The pain is immense and when we cannot contain it, we will only force others to deal with the meltdowns, the nauseous gas, the explosions–everything interacts. Nothing is left to chance

It is impossible not to have an impact on the world. It is impossible not to be impacted by the world. By existing we are a part of the whole. We are a part of an ecosystem.

How does this affect our Hearts?
How does this affect our Mind?
How does this affect our Soul?

Our Love, Knowledge, and Desire.
Our Experience, Perception, Understanding.
Our Being?

Heal your soul, being, and perception of self. that is to say, what it means to be. Not just in your own life… but across time, space, and awareness. Outside of yourself to the people around you.

Affection begins with our perception, and if so, for other humans, what makes us think we are different to ourselves?

Heal the wounds given to you. The manipulation whispered in your ear and the lies screamed into your face.

Express yourself– in spite of the lies from others. Not to say “In” “Spite” “of” (to live within hate) but rather “in spite of” (To Live Without the Hate Given to us). We can only exist in a state of action, lest we fall to the way side of false perceptions.

We will repeat a lie that is stained on our heart until we stop re-acting to it and start acting in spite of it.

Art is the scab that allows for emotional, cognitive, and bodily healing.

If you have one action to respond to the lie of the world, which action would you take?

The rejection of the lie or the acceptance of the truth?

.
..

*Hess*

I choose the truth.

My Truth

-Michal Angelo

Son of the Grand

I am someone who sows

Knitting so purposely to see if I can grow

Simply pressing my emotions in to the fertile substance of the earth– my focus breaking to enjoy the sun, the warmth radiating across my skin.

This is the blessed awareness of all, of within, and of Zen.

It moves me to press and invest even more of my strength, emotion, and thought in this dirt that the world has given me.

This Blessed Pain

my soul to live. my emotions to experience, and my mind to savor.

All for what you ask?
For itself.

It is the purpose. To live, experience, and savor.

These truths, held in ignorance, that is to say never truly knowing them, led me to live life in an incomplete way.

What were these truths I so desperately needed back in my life?

Time truly does pass
Pain is required for deep growth
An instance can change the nature of something

Getting over my existential crises, my fear of change, and my lack of accountability has been some of the most daunting things to me, and so my soul has suffered.

I have scurried away in fear of these. Mainly due to my ignorance, but no more shall I await in fear. I will move into the unknown with strength.

Breathing Infinity

A deep breath
…In
……Out

In that moment we feel the world for what it is. We create a one to one with the universe– returning ourselves

if but for a moment

to the oneness and the wholeness

Out of that moment comes all understanding– for understanding is meaning and meaning is feeling and feelings are interactions.

All time is a degree of interaction

The Ones Who Strum

Set aflame my still and stagnant sea. Reinvigorate my passion for Love, Beauty, and Pain.

My musics

Where are my inspirations? Where did my soul go? Where did my essence escape to? How else can I create?

What can I can I use for a brush, if not my soul?
What can I use for paint, if not my essence?

Vibrate

Vibrate my heart to be moved to more

To type and never erase.

To speak and forget

Act and never regret

I must be in every moment. I must live at every opportunity. This is existence. Doing anything else is silly.